No Comparison Part 2

We do ourselves an injustice when we compare our lives to someone else. That comparison is sometimes done without even knowing what a person’s life really looks like behind closed doors. We don’t know the inconveniences that a person has had to face everyday. We don’t know what another has had to deal with emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially to get where they are. There are certain things that I planned to have accomplished by a certain age, but those tasks are still a “work in progress.” What remains a “work in progress” for me, is an accomplished mission for some around me. When I look in the mirror I still see a successful person. I know that had I accomplished what I thought I should have accomplished by now then perhaps I wouldn’t have been able to have the experiences that I’ve had. I suspect what brings about comparisons comes from what society, and believe it or not, what our family and friends says success is supposed to look like. **Another News Flash** If you have people in your life who say things that make you feel you are less successful because you don’t have certain things or you don’t hold the “right” titles, then have an honest chat with those special ones. Tell them you don’t need their definition of success because you have your own. So class, what did we learn? Stop with the comparisons. Sloppy copies are not allowed. Success is by individual definition only. 

No Comparison Part 1

Define success for yourself. The more I experience in life, the more I hold onto that truth. I bet if you ask anybody the question, “Do you let other’s define success for you?" most people would answer with a proud, “NO.” So why do these same people compare their lives with everyone else’s?  **News Flash** When you compare your life to the life of another, you actually are letting others define success for you.  Some of us have this idea that by a certain age, if we have certain material things, have obtained certain statuses, or hold certain titles, that we, finally, have success. People become edgy when they see something they want and don’t have, but yet see their peers or friends with it. Those people start to question whether or not they have done something wrong or if they are less worthy. Another example: Some women think that by age of 30 they should have a strong career, and be married with at least one and half kids!  They start to become dissatisfied with life because they are noticing that their peers and friends are becoming a part of the “wives club.” (I have witnessed women who start to feel less successful and less womanly just because they haven’t walked down the aisle. How dreadful!) Whatever the comparison, we limit ourselves and the endless possibilities in our own lives go unnoticed. I also believe that when we compare our lives to others, we start to tragically copy. Why would you be a sloppy copy of someone else, when you can be fabulous in your own right?! Stay tuned for Part 2.

The Gift Called Resilience

Not everyone has the ability to recover or to “bounce back,” as some would say, after stressful events. Not everyone can smile or even laugh while enduring tension.  Not everyone can reach for inner strength to continue living a productive life. No situation under the sun is unique to just one person, so what makes one person keep going, while another loses steam? It is called resilience. In my life, I have found during stress, time can either drag or fly by.  When time passed quickly, I did not process what I had actually endured until after the fact. We should give ourselves credit for getting through what has not been easy. In the midst of stress, it is hard to wrap your head around what it really going on. I supposed it is because we are too busy trying to figure out why the mess (another 4 letter word comes to mind, but I’ll be civil) is unfolding. Writing a book is on my list of “things to do.”  I’ve always enjoyed writing since I was a little princess.  I’ve never known exactly what type of book to write and I don’t know where the desire came from.  But as far back as I can remember the desire has always been there.  Well thanks to some stress, I believe I now have some material to write about (whew, wiping my brow!).  People see the carefree and successful you, but they didn’t see the stressful you. To others, you make things look real easy and glamorous!  Do pat yourself on the back for not throwing away your plans, for still opening that business, for still obtaining that degree, for keeping your relationship together, for owning that promotion!  Maybe a pat on the back is not enough for you, maybe you feel like you need to do a back flip!  Just give yourself credit for the spirit you still have, even if no one else does.

LOVE: not the "I love you like a brother" kind

I did my best to stay away from this LOVE topic, because that could easily take my blog into another direction! But I figured I start off with a short post, otherwise it wouldn’t be TamuTalks if I didn’t. So for you men, that maybe secretly reading TamuTalks, please take note. (Side bar: No really, earlier I said TamuTalks is for men also, so please keep reading!) Ok. Here it goes:

Love is the way you feel when he says your name. Love is when he annoys the #### out of you, but yet you do not want him to leave. Love is when you argue, but yet the sound of his voice makes him irresistible. Love is when he makes you angry, but yet you cannot imagine life without him. Love is that warmth you feel when he enters the room. Love is the way you look at each other without saying a word. Love is when you sit on the same side in a booth at a restaurant (the “cheesy” alarm just went off!). Love is when he still stands out in a room full of other attractive men. Love is when life hits hard and he puts your hand inside of his and without saying a word, you know everything will be ok. Love is being blissful to be in each other presence, even when romance is hard to find. Love…to be continued.

Peace of Mind

If you have ever had this before, you know how this feels. Physically, it feels like weights have been lifted off of your shoulders. Peace of mind leads to a lighter heart. If you really pay attention, you even breathe lighter when you have peace of mind. Literally, your head feels lighter! Peace of mind can give you clearer vision. You start to look at situations differently. You start to notice opportunities in bleak situations. You start to feel like you can accomplish anything at anytime because your peace of mind has replaced fear. Peace of mind brings smiles and laughter easier. You’ll even find your talk is different. I’ve had to get myself to this point again. Because life is so full of decisions and options, it has been easy for me to be bombarded with those questions we ask ourselves; you know the ones: How will I know if I make the right decision? Where will this option lead me? Will I fall flat on my face (and chip a tooth)? I’ve been faced with decisions before, and with my peace of mind, I picked what was behind door #2, and moved on. I know I can do the same at this particular time in my life. We have to decide to trust that the decisions we make will work out in our favor. We have to decide to trust that the plans we have made will work out in our favor. After all what else are we going to do? Worry all day? No Thanks. Worrying brings wrinkles and gray hair, neither of which I wear well. So, I’m making a conscious, daily effort to maintain my peace of mind, hope you do the same. **Peace**