Nothing To Do With You

You cannot control decisions a person makes. A person will make decisions to make their life more comfortable as he or she has every right to do so. Sometimes an individual will make decisions without considering how those closest will be affected. So, the decision can make others feel uncomfortable, shocked, and even hurt. This hurt will cause a person to actually blame themselves for the decision another has made. A person can blame themselves to the point of feeling inferior or less valuable. I can go into several scenarios surrounding this idea, which could be the start a book (hmmmm). Anyway, I know from experience, people will make decisions based off of what they want. Questions of “What did I do wrong?” or “How can I change?” can start to take a toll. At some point, no more mental energy should be wasted on “figuring” out why a person made the choice they made. Why? Because the decision did not have anything to do with you. I’m not telling anyone to avoid owning when your wrong-doing influenced a resolve that did cause hurt feelings. That’s different. I’m talking about those decisions that are unexpected, unpleasant surprises. I’m talking about those decisions that interrupt something you got used to, something you thought was good and then this startling decision occurs leaving you to pick your face up off of the floor. It’s okay to be sad and angry for a moment. While you’re moving through those emotions, don’t beat yourself up over someone else’s choices. That person will go on with their choice and with their life. You should do the same.