#Grow

There's a reason why you throw stuff out when you are packing to move....Because everything can't go. You want to hold onto the stuff because it's familiar, it brings comfort. There may even be an emotional attachment. The only thing it's doing is taking up room; it's not even an accessory anymore. You feel bad about getting rid of it. You know as soon as you see it go, you'll have to deal with an emotional flood. But... you know in your heart of hearts, it has to go because it could slow down the move. The move has to take place; move equals growth. "The stuff", "It", can be anything...can be anyone! (ouch!) You know who/what you have to let go for growth. You don't need anyone to tell you this. You don't even need 21 days of silence, solitude, alone-time, or whatever else you want to call it, to figure it out. Letting "the stuff" or "It" go may not always come at the most convenient time but it will always be the RIGHT time.

May Wrecking Ball

So, April showers bring May flowers? That's what they say. You've been working hard and doing everything humanly possible to bring your visions to life. But you don't see your field of beautiful flowers. Instead you see an enormous wall, maybe several. That wall is not there to stop you. I choose to believe walls appear only to confirm that our visions are real. May our dedication to our visions be the bulldozer and the wrecking ball that will demolish those walls to visions fulfilled.

A Real G

Sometimes it is the simplest advice that sticks. Right before meeting with the panelist in hopes of showcasing my Spring/Summer 2016 collection, I got a huge nervous knot in my stomach. For real?! 30 minutes before?! Why not the day before?! Of course, I knew this day was approaching but I didn't make a big deal of it. I had no nervous thoughts about, not even throughout today. What got me through those few minutes? Advice from Grandma. I'll share Grandma's advice with you this one time, but this is my Grandma, you'll need to get your own.

"Don't look at what you don't have. Look at what IS. Go in with confidence. You.Are.It!"

Trench Piece

So, just in case you were wondering, my birthday weekend was great, spent much needed quality time with my family with some pampering, shopping, good food, and drinks. I didn't want that weekend to end. Side note: gifts are still being accepted. Where did March go anyway?!! Anyway, I'm glad it's April because that means My Summer is just around the corner. In the meantime, that Winter to Spring transition gets tricky. You know those days where it's 30 degrees in the morning and then 65 degrees later on in the day: days like these make it hard to dress. One wardrobe staple that helps make dressing easier is that Spring trench coat. Get one! In a bright color! Wear one over your outfit, wear as a shirt with leggings, or wear it as a dress. Let me see how you wear your Spring trench. Happy shopping. 

Number 38

 I had this genius idea to do a photo shoot for my 38th birthday. I was going to be in one of my own modern Iconic by Tamu creations, surrounded by a clean, relaxed background mixed with modern props and hints of vintage with a sassy edge. This photo shoot was going to be fun, but your girl ran out of time. Then I realized, I didn't actually plan anything for my birthday. Usually, I start sending out "save the dates" for my birthday celebration at least 6 months in advance. I didn't do that for number 38. I would have loved to have planned a party or a vacation near a beach and some palm trees. I started to feel some disappointment for a few moments, until I heard a story of a woman who was diagnosed with cancer some years back. The cancer went into remission, but she recently found out that not only is the cancer back, but it has spread. Shame on me for feeling disappointed! Shame on me for losing sight of the gifts in front of me! No, I haven't spent my birthday weekend on a beach, sipping on one of those drink with the little umbrella on the side. But I have been spending my birthday weekend with some VIPs and Bosses....sipping. However you identify what/who those blessings are, celebrate them because they are there, now, in front of you.

ALL-STAR B!+c#es

If you are fortunate enough to have your life anniversary in March or know someone who does, then you know how special today is. Don't worry. This post won't highlight how fabulous March babies are, or the fact that my birthday is in 21 days, or that you don't have to wait until the 22nd to send gifts. So, allow me to highlight this.

Lately, I've had conversations with people who are absolutely mean...to themselves! What am I talking about?  "Of course you'll have to help me, I can be stupid sometimes", "I have such an ugly shape", "I don't like how my voice sounds", "Why do I have to be so picky, I'm such a freak", "I'm such an idiot for doing this"; The negative words that people used to describe themselves was so overwhelming. By the way, these words weren't spoken by kids, they were coming from grown-ups, the "mature I don't get carded anymore" adults! I'm all for a coke, a smile, a good joke, and a laugh, but ...DAMN.  Doesn't anyone believe in the power words have? Doesn't anyone consider that life can have a way of bringing you what you speak? As adults, aren't we to become more accepting of ourselves? Shouldn't the words we speak about ourselves be filled with life, authority, and confidence? Shouldn't we look in the mirror and see a fearless warrior, a survivor, a VIP, an All-Star?

V'day is cancelled

If Valentine's Day disappeared off of our calendars, hopefully no one would lose their mind questioning why or spend their time organizing a rally to get the holiday put back on the calendars. A few days ago, someone said to me, "I don't believe in Valentine's Day." I didn't ask for elaboration so I still don't know what that means. You don't have to be married, hitched, tied down, or spoken for to celebrate the day. Some of you have a romantic-50 Shades-like evening planned (Side note: I still haven't read the book, which means I won't be seeing the movie until I read the book). Some of you are going out just like it is another Saturday night. Whatever your plans are, step outside of the red box, and go for a fitted dress with a loud, animal print, like the one below.

(Although I think Valentine's Day is cute, the real purpose of this post was to show off an Iconic by Tamu creation.)

 

31 Days

It took me a "New York Minute" to write this post. Since I'm all about keeping this blog light, not too philosophical or emotional, I found myself struggling to find the "right" words. So, I started typing. Here's what happened:

It's amazing how so much can happen in 31 days. "31 days": Saying it; doesn't sound like much, but that's plenty of time for LIFE to happen. Some R&R time is in order: some regroup and recover time! I hope that you took that R&R time for yourself today.  Maybe you wrote in your journal, maybe you just sat in the quiet and looked out of the window (hopefully, you had a beach view!), or had a massage. As we continue to walk into this Love and History month, I applaud you, My Reader, for doing just that... continuing to walk.

"An no matter what I do I can't stop walking no
I know its the only way to go
And if I keep walking I'mma be ok
Its not always about knowing why
Sometimes its all about knowing what
And that's enough to keep you walking everyday"

Read more: Mali Music - Walking Shoes Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Show and Tell

Alert: The tone of this post is slightly starchy. It's good to talk about your plans and your expertise. It's a way of networking. No one really cares about the words you speak. What you have done and what you can show means more. I've ran into people who like to talk about (or have other people do the talking) their expertise and what they can do, but turn out to be flakes. #Not interested

I believe planning, with deadlines, is the best way to plan! Let me venture out and say, however, you can plan too much. At some point action is necessary. After awhile you just have to trust that the current plan, with adjustments, is going to work...after you do.

Tell less. Show more.

2014 Exit to the Left

At the end of the year, it's human nature to do a review of the year. I've never planned a huge New Year Blow Out: the year goes by so fast and this year is no different. Some people are having dinner with their families and showing gratitude for each other. Some are using New Year's Eve as an excuse to act a damn fool, even though they've acted a damn fool for the last 364 days.  Some people have their popcorn, m&m's, and T.V. remote ready to catch up on mess reality T.V. and Netflix. Right now, some are planning their grand entrance into that New Year's Eve party. There are some who may not be feeling festive at all for so many reasons.  No one can tell you how you should feel on this day: just like no one can tell you how to spend this day. But how about this: Consider that how this 365th day is spent, could set the tone for the next 365 days. Ready, set, go!

Top (slightly random) 9's of 2014

Every year at this time, I'm stunned that another year is saying good morning, good afternoon, good evening, good night, and good bye! Sixteen more days. Early this morning, I found myself smiling. I hope you find yourself smiling on each of the sweet sixteen days left. Hopefully, to add to your smiles and to continue with Tamu Talks version of  a year-end review, take a look at "Tamu's Top (slightly random) 9's of 2014. Wait...this list is in no particular order of importance.ok.proceed.

*Accepting the Dream-I couldn't have list without putting ME on it!

*My first fashion show- And again, I couldn't have a list without putting ME on it!

*Yes to the Dress- My baby sister trying on wedding dresses was a tear jerker. She doesn't know this, but before we started looking, I had to prep myself to avoid tears at all cost. I've done well, so far. What can I say, she's my baby sister!

*Final Obstacle- My mother received results that solidified her title, EVERYWHERE! These results represented the last part of the obstacle course that she has been in for the last 15+ years.

*The overwhelming focus on real and fake booties: For some reason, I don't feel the need to elaborate on this.

*Dunkin Donuts opening up 2 minutes away from me:Yes! You read correctly. Let me explain. When I was studying at Parsons, Dunkin Donuts' coffee gave me life during my late nights working on projects. When I left New York, I left Dunkin. DD was 2 minutes away from my apartment in midtown Manhattan, so you can see why it holds a special place in my heart.

*Gertie- A friend of mine, who I call "Gertie", had to make some very uncomfortable and scary changes all the way down to relocating! She may have felt she was starting over, but she started a brand new chapter. She.did.that.

"Gertie" is synonymous with Courage.

*Kermit- He has been both messy and funny, saying what people are thinking and addressing blatant foolishness, all the while sipping tea.

*The Elevator- The following is the current explanation of that fiasco: "Of course sometime $hit go' down when it's a billion $$ on an elevator"

All I want for Christmas is the complete, unedited version of the fiasco.

The Gown

The Gown. The Gown. The Gown. Now that I have that off of my chest let me say this: Starting this label, I made up my mind to keep my focus on tops, skirts, and dresses and then expand from there. In the meantime, I was approached about making a gown. I almost turned that project down because gowns weren't my focus. You maybe thinking, "A gown is considered a dress..#blankstare". Correct you are. But, making an evening gown is different from making a day dress or even a cocktail dress. Now that the gown is done, I know that not taking that client on would've been a mistake. I have to honestly say, it gave me another courage boost. From what started off looking like a costume for Morpheus in the next Matrix movie, it turned out to be a nice, simple, classic-looking gown. I do thank my client for putting her "clothing-style" trust in me! Take a look.

See You in December!

Between finishing this evening gown and fighting a gnat, I dare not miss December 1st! I'm entering in a contest with MAC Cosmetics, where I have to submit a short, life mantra, along with a picture. So, in recognition of 12/1, I'm posting the "mantra" I'm going to submit below (not to mention, I need to save time and it's already written!) 

See you in December!

"Everything you have is enough to just BE. We look to the outside for inspiration. Being inspired by another's story is wonderful, but when no other story can be found- we all have our own we can turn to at any time. We look to others to tell us what career we should pursue when we were born with dreams bigger than us. We take quizzes that supposedly tell us what we are good at; even though we know what our gifts are.  We look to self-help books, seminars, and church to help us get control of our flaws. We neglect our strengths that are striving to be stronger for fear of accepting our imperfections as perfect. We are always looking for more before we "start" pursuing. Everything we have, within, is more than enough."

Come on chic, Focus!

This post ties into our last round table discussion about "Private Practice." Earlier that same morning, I almost didn't reload my business card case because I wasn't "feeling" like a business owner or a fashion designer. I thought "I probably won't meet anyone today anyway, so what's the point?" Talk about being in your feelings! But I just couldn't give in. So like a good, grown up, business woman, I reloaded!
Maintaining focus on your vision sometimes means ignoring your emotions. If your vision is to write books, even on days that you don't "feel" like an author, you still have to focus and write! On the same day, I read an article on BusinessInsider.com that outlined Richard Branson's "Virgin" success story. The article addressed moving past emotions and feelings in order to touch your vision. Meeting the friend of the boutique owner and reading that article; Maybe small coincidences like these show up in life just when we need them to whip us back into shape.  For that, I am grateful.

Private Practice

This blog was started to feed my hunger for writing.  I didn’t realize it would turn into some sort of a diary. This is so ironic because I am actually a private person.  Sometimes I wonder what I got myself into. I don’t wake up in the morning and make an extra effort to put a wall up, so blame it on my genes; blame it on my parents (Hi Dave and Mel!)  Honest moment: I find it annoying for a person I don’t know to ask me personal questions.  I like to be the FIRST to start that personal part of a conversation. (Control issue perhaps?) I know that the question, “So, what do you do?” Is a conversation starter, but so is “How about that weather?”  This little situation came up yesterday. I got the “So what do you do?” question from a stranger, with no lead- in questions.  It took me a few seconds to respond because thoughts of “You aren’t Oprah” and “None of your business” took over.  I made the decision to act my age, kind of, and I responded, vaguely, “I design clothes”.  To my surprise, there was another person in the vicinity who overheard my half conversation with the stranger. This other one let me know her best friend, owner of a boutique, is currently looking for a new label to carry. She offered to connect me with her boutique owner friend.  I don’t know if this networking moment will turn into a business deal or not.  But I was taught something….again. Had I not shared with the stranger “What I do”, would that opportunity have presented itself? Would I still have made that potential connection that could grow my label? A comfort zone is just that…a comfort…zone… The zone can be an emotional zone and a personality zone. Stepping out that comfort zone has to be continual because being comfortable does not necessarily equate to being fulfilled.

I remember October

I remember October like it was yesterday. Today, instead of enjoying another 1st, I wasted some moments looking around to see where October went. To tell on myself a little more, I just  remembered that our clocks go back an hour tonight. I sent out reminder messages to people in my life about this "fall back" business. How ironic: I'm the one that forgot and yet I saw fit to send out reminder messages. I guess I have some nerve. In other news, I hope that you have welcomed November with smiles and open arms. Yesterday someone said to me, "You seem so strong and happy." I appreciated the compliment and realized this person had tears in her eyes because of a tough situation she was dealing with. I shared some words with her in hopes that she would not look down on herself. What she did not know is that yesterday, I really had to force a smile, a laugh, and a strong, positive attitude.  Her words helped me, and I hope my words helped her. More irony: You could be moving through a tough situation but yet still be an inspiration to someone else. It's a good thing you don't have to feel like you're an inspiration to be one.

Advice-Get it!

We can't take on major endeavors alone. By that I mean, you will have to; find resources, get feedback, ask a ton of "how-to" questions, and ask for advice. When it comes to asking for advice, I have found that there are those who will be vague and those who will seem to have "forgotten so unfortunately" they won't be able to help. This is not to take away shine from people who will freely give advice, as those people are very much appreciated. I ask questions with the expectation of getting the answers I need. My philosophy: No harm in asking, the worst a person can do is ignore me or just tell me no. HOWEVER, I've had to remind myself to not take it personal when a person is not keen on giving advice. People aren't required to give advice or share how they got to where they are (wherever that is).  When people don't share, it could be for many reasons for which we should find a cup of tea to sip and not let those reasons concern us. So, keep that smile on your face, maintain a pleasant approach and reach out to the next person.

Put YOU on the calendar

While working on my next collection, I decided to work in a few other extra sample pieces. One is an evening gown; which is not a part of my original focus, but I'm going to try it anyway. I was asked to design a gown after my model went shopping and wasn't able to find a gown she liked.  I was a little nervous taking it on, but since I've started working on it, I'm excited to see the finished product. (Maybe I should post "in progress" pics...hmmmm)  In the meantime, the calendar is booked to capacity (Again, not trying to quote Tamar Braxton here).  While I was looking over it, I realized I had not scheduled time just for myself. I don't think scheduling "time for myself" should include the gym or the salon! To me "time for myself" means quiet...peace and quiet ..no talking, no writing, no planning, no thinking.  So while you carefully fill in your calendar with dates, times, and reminders, make a YOU appointment.  

Clothes Everywhere!

So, if you've been to my website (http://tamuincorporated.wix.com/mysite), you've seen this dress. If you follow me on facebook, you've seen this dress. If you follow me on twitter, you've seen this dress. If you follow me on instagram.........and repeat again!

It's been challenging to balance the business and creative portion of this monster, but slowly, I'm learning. To help me balance, each time I finish either a piece or a full collection, I've decided to post pictures, whether the garment is on a dress form or a model. In my mind, people are anticipating my designs and people want to see pictures. Call it overly confident, but thinking that way keeps the tenacity brewing! While you browse through pictures past, present, and future, remember, custom orders are available. And the work continues........

Little Lavender Dress...with a vintage flair.

:-)

I am a comedienne. Not really. That has never stopped me from laughing at my own jokes nor has it stopped me from laughing while typing a funny (or what I think is funny) message. Lately, I’ve noticed I haven’t been laughing as much. I’ve been tense and probably a little too serious. When the days are long, being “on” and “upbeat” throughout, is a challenge. But….smiles and laughs are not only instant attitude boosters; they are FREE, unlimited necessities.

(Were you waiting for an ending? That was the end of this post. And yes; I used a smiley face for the title)