People
force themselves to be happy about situations for reasons that could go on into
infinity. From my experience, I’d say the main reasons are: he/she may not have
the energy or confidence to get out of that place, a person may be complacent
with fake appearances (knowing that their setting sounds and looks good to
people looking in… from the outside), and/or because he/she is trying to, as
the saying goes, “save face” (knowing a bad decision has been made, and instead
of owning it and not giving a #@! about what anyone thinks, that person chooses
to try and force the situation to work). For example, I was trying to accept a
career choice that had and still has much prestige, status, prominence, you get
the idea. I never doubted that I would have excelled in that career choice, but
during my pursuit, I knew where my heart’s desire really was. However, I
convinced myself that this career was chosen for me and that was the vocation I
was
supposed to be happy in. It was/is
a safe profession with a guaranteed income, so this just had to be the “right” profession
for me. I was going to do everything possible to get there. I almost made it,
but not quite. I cried, but the tears weren’t shed because I didn’t go as far
as I thought I would. I was crying because I would have to tell those close to
me, those that were so happy, so proud, and in anticipation of seeing those
specials letters behind my name, that the painted picture had to be taken
down.
I wasn’t crying because my dreams
had been derailed. In fact, my dreams were still in tact and had nothing to do
with that career I was forcing myself to be a part of.
In order for me to come to that realization, I
had to get alone and seriously soul search. It wasn’t pretty. It was hurtful. It
stung. I felt I wasted time, energy, and money to be “fake happy.” (Go ahead.
Use the phrase.) Stay tuned into TamuTalks for Part 2.
