What’s wrong with me?

People assume I have at least one kid after I state my age. I cannot believe the amazed looks I get they realize I’m childless. People look at me as if my age and my childless factor make me an unusual being that should be studied.  I am not so unusual, I promise.  There are plenty of women in the world that are my age that wave the childless banner for different reasons.  People take on a convincing tone when they describe to me “what a blessing kids are” as if I thought they were a curse. Kids made me…well let’s just say they made me nervous.  I would not even look in the direction of children’s clothes.   If a heard a kid crying, I would remove myself from the premises whenever possible.  As I got older, I, surprisingly, got into volunteer work that had me face to face with kids, and yes, this includes teenagers! If I was not sold on having a child of my own after dealing with an 8 year old, dealing with a 15 year old was certainly not going to help!  Then something happened. Seven years ago, my sweet, beautiful niece was born. She was a breath of fresh air.  She deserves a posting dedicated to her. I have noticed my tolerance level for a kid crying has increased. I actually stop and look at children’s clothes.  I have even caught myself looking at babies and thinking, “Now how cute is that baby.” I have NEVER done that!!  Now wait. Do not get excited. I still cannot say, with all of my heart, soul, mind, and spirit, that I actually want one of “those.”  People used to tell me, “When you fall in love, you will want a child then.” Guess what? Falling in love has not made me say with confidence, “I want a child.”  So until, or even IF, that confidence arrives, I will continue to recognize the “cuteness” in other people’s children, smile, and continue moving right along.